You remember John Candy driving his car into garbage cans in the movie Splash and getting out yelling "I'm alright....if anybody cares".
Well Johnny put the Empire State Building in his rearview mirror about 7:30 am (really, driving out on the 1&9 Pulaski Skyway you can watch it disappear but don't stare or nuthin, you'll wreck) and rolled into Ypsilanti around 5:15 pm. Just a note to you silly New Jersey State troopers trying to stop Johnny from getting away into Pennsylvania--THREE? You sent only THREE cars to stop him? It's take more than three New Jersey State troopers to lock him up, even if you did, no jail can hold him. It was hilarious to watch them have to stop right at the state line as Johnny's Vibe streaked across the Delaware River into Pennsylvania, sssssssuckers.
Johnny actually did a little hand jive curse as he passed the Bellefonte exit, the way one gets to Penn State University in State College. Then, they lost to Iowa. That had to be the reason. Johnny PWNED the Nittany Lions.
So, what happened around here? The interns are gone and John the Revelator is drinking out of a paper bag so you all are gonna have to fill Johnny in...